Separating from Mummy and Daddy when coming to school for the first time

Going to school for the first time can be a very exciting, but sometimes also a very stressful time for your child. The first few weeks when a child is settling into an early years setting is a time of crucial importance to their later happiness in the setting. All children are individuals and while some children will adjust fairly easily to the new environment and new routines, others will take longer to feel comfortable and secure. Children who have a positive start to their new environment are more likely to feel comfortable, relaxed and valued, feel good about themselves as learners and have a sense of belonging to the pre-school community. It's normal for young children to be both excited and fearful about the idea of going to school. On the one hand, going to school is what the "big kids" do, and as such it is a mark of children's advancement. On the other hand, school represents a big unknown, which can be frightening.

Most children settle in without too many concerns but there are some children who need more time to develop trust. Transitions can provide exciting opportunities and also new challenges. The way in which the first transitions are handled could potentially have a significant impact on the child’s capacity to cope with change in the short and long term. If transitions are well supported, children can learn to manage change in a positive way, which is a very important skill for life. Effective transitions can provide opportunities to help children develop self-worth, confidence and the capacity to be resilient in the process of dealing with change. Partnership working with parents is key to supporting effective transitions. Parents can support staff in getting to know children well, whilst staff supports parents as they adjust to change. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to ease the transition. Remember: preparing your child for separation starts with preparing yourself.
There are a number of things you can do to prepare your child for the big moment:

Get the little one excited about school

On the way to the nursery, talk to the child about what awaits him or her there, the fun activities of the day and the group your child will be a part of.

Give the child a transitional object, something to hold onto

Check with the nursery's policy and, if allowed, let the little one bring a "security object", i.e. a familiar object like a teddy bear or a favourite blanket.

Become familiar with the Nursery Settling In Policy’

All early years settings will have a ‘Settling In Policy’ which will set out the centre’s procedures for supporting children through the settling in stage. Policies should be written with the child’s emotional well-being at the centre. It is important that you obtain a copy of this policy and familiarise yourself with it, as it will help you prepare for your child’s transition into the pre-school setting and make any necessary arrangements.

Read stories to your child about starting nursery school

This again can help familiarise the child with what will happen at the early years setting before they start.

Chat to your child about any concerns they may have

Your child may be anxious to know what to do for example if they need to go to the toilet. Talk to your child in a positive way about these concerns.

Leaving children with family members and trusted friends

Preparing for separation can involve leaving your child with trusted friends or family members for short periods. This can then be followed by separation periods within the early years setting.

Staying confident, cheery and positive

Although you may be feeling as anxious and emotional as your child, try to stay cheery and confident as children will pick up on your feelings of apprehension.

Don’t be tempted to slip away

It is important when your child starts the early years setting to let the child know when you are leaving. Tell your child you are going and will be back after an activity, for example story time.
Although tempting, slipping away when your child is distracted can lead to the child becoming very anxious and not letting you out of their sight on the next visit.

Parents and teachers working in partnership

Open communication between parents and the early years staff team is crucial. It is important to share information. Parents can give the staff information about the child and in turn the staff can talk to the parents about the child’s experiences in the setting.
Teachers will have a vast amount of experience in helping children settle into the pre-school setting and are aware of the difficulties that can emerge during this transition period.
If your child is taking longer to settle in than you had expected and you still have concerns, discuss these with a member of staff. Together you can agree on and put into place strategies to support your child during this time.

Helping your child to grow in confidence and independence

You are the safe base from which your child can branch out and explore the world, grow and learn and become socially and emotionally confident. Getting off to a good start will help you support your child through this very important period in their lives.

As parents and as early years practitioners, we can take steps to ensure that the transition into the early years setting goes as smoothly as possible. Research shows that when the settling in period is positive for the child, it can not only impact on their happiness throughout their time at the early years setting but also on how the child views future transitions.

How to make potty training a success at home and at school

Potty training is a major milestone - and a trying period - not only in the life of children, but also in the life of parents. With that in mind, using a similar routine both at home and at school can ease the difficulties associated with the process of teaching your child to use the toilet faster.
Potty training comes into play at a time when a child is showing signs of increased independence. Toilet training is much easier when children are aged two and upwards. Proper toilet training is virtually impossible for a child under 18 months because the sphincters (muscle outlets) of the bladder and bowel aren't yet under their control. By that age, they may already attend an educational program. So enquiring how your child's nursery handles potty training is always a good idea. Discuss the potty training policy with the teachers and make sure it is in sync with your own potty training methods at home.

Why is that critical for the well-being of your child?

The answer to this question is very simple. A different way of handling potty training in school or at home can confuse you child, causing distress and creating home vs. school potty training conflicts. It sometimes happens that parents and professionals disagree about the timing or practices of potty training. Communication is the key here. Rest assured - most teachers and nurseries would love to help your children master potty training. Always make sure you listen to their opinions, as they stem from a rich educational experience.

After learning about your child’s school potty training routine and method, and agreeing on it, the next thing to do is to try and replicate it at home for greater success. By making it as similar as possible to the routine at school, you are in fact eliminating the possibility of confusing your child as he learns potty training in two different environments. A basic example would be that, if the school teaches him to use the potty / toilet every half an hour, you should do the same at home. Using the same equipment (toilet seat insert instead of a child-sized potty chair, underwear) also dispels any possible fear and reassures the child.
Success in potty training rests on school and home working together to benefit the children. Obviously, parents are the ones knowing their child best, so their input is fundamental. They are the first to determine whether he or she is ready or not for potty training. Signs of readiness include understanding "potty vocabulary", showing an interest in the potty, being able to take his or her pants on and off, wanting to wear underwear, wanting soiled nappies changed immediately, staying dry for at least two hours at a time, verbalising the need to use the potty etc.
Bear in mind that potty training efforts at home and at school are only effective if your child is ready, if he / she can follow your or the teacher's basic instructions, shows an interest in using the toilet, and can sit on the potty by himself / herself. Rushing children into potty training is never a good idea, so make sure you and your child's school teachers agree on the path to be followed, especially if school is a new experience, as children are sometimes reluctant to learn under stressful conditions. Potty training should come naturally, in a relaxed and safe environment, be it at home or at school.
Last but not least, encourage your child to keep up potty training, while reminding him that in the process, accidents are normal. Never should he be punished at home or at school for having an accident. What makes potty training in school extremely helpful is that it comes with the added element of peer influence, which can result in your children being more willing to engage in potty training and imitate their school friends.
In conclusion, potty training sounds a lot easier than it actually is - which is why home and school working together to smooth the process is your best bet. It requires plenty of patience, and persistence. School should take into consideration the fact that all children are unique, and develop at their own pace. Successful potty training, therefore, starts when your child is developmentally prepared, and involves a routine that is replicated at home and in school.

Q&A:

How do I banish toilet fears?
A small child can be frightened by the big toilet that makes roaring sounds when it flushes. If that is the case and age doesn't permit, don't force him to sit on it, and use a potty chair instead, encouraging him to try it. Familiarise the child by taking him with you to the bathroom when emptying the potty chair. Introduce your toddler to the potty in a casual way, letting him or them play with it and role play with teddies or dolls. It might be worth starting with a potty in the bathroom, and encouraging them to sit on it before a bath. This is a low-pressure introduction. If he/she's not interested, you and the potty should back off. Read some books on potty training with your toddler and discuss what's involved in potty training in simple terms.

Can I use rewards?
It depends. Check the school's policy on the matter, and if the answer is yes, consider using motivators such as stickers for every successful trip to the potty. Make sure you don't overdo rewarding though, as the motivation to use the potty must come from within. An even better path would be praising the child for what he has achieved. Never punish him for accidents or misses, and always maintain a sense of humour and a positive attitude. That goes for your child's teachers as well.

When do children start to wipe themselves?
Again, it depends, as every child is different. Some are more independent, and start wiping themselves from the get-go. Others will require your help for wiping, so be patient. Always have a roll of toilet paper within reach. Hand it to them, tell them to wipe and check if it is clean, and if not, to get a new piece and wipe again. Teach them to flush (if it's the case), and wash hands every time.

Getting your toddler dry through the night
Don't rush trying to get your toddler dry through the night. Wait before you dispense with night-time nappies until daytime dryness has been comfortably achieved and she has had some (or all) nights in which the nappy is dry in the morning. If your child isn't dry at night it's probably because their nervous system isn't mature enough to trigger a signal that their bladder is full and needs emptying.
Discuss with your child the issue of leaving nappies off at night and put a plastic sheet under the sheets. Be relaxed - reassure your child it doesn't matter if they wet the bed and that you can wash the sheets and change their pyjamas. Let them know they're bound to get the hang of it soon.

The importance of reading at home and school

We, as adults, know that reading is the foundation of learning. You can not learn history, geography, a foreign language or mathematics if you can not read. This should be inoculated to children, but in a less 'serious' way. Therefore it is good for children to see us reading books, newspapers, reports and even subtitles to a movie as often as possible. They will realise by themselves how important it is to know how to read. As with many other aspects of learning a close partnership between home and school is essential. Therefore parents as well as teachers play an important role in laying the foundations of reading and this should not be made ​​a burden for the child. Reading should be fun.

Here are some ideas on how to make reading a pleasure with your child/children:

1. Cuddle up and read. Quiet times together are opportunities to bond...and read. The cuddling can be as important as the reading. Make it exciting: put some drama into your voice or let your child read every other page. As you go, explain any new words or ideas.

2. Make your kitchen part of your "reading zone". Have fridge magnets available so children can start making words and short sentences.

3. Words are everywhere – take everyday opportunities to read with your child. Your child's world is filled with words – on cereal boxes, street signs, stores, posters etc. Wherever you go, you can always find new words and point them out.

4. Games can be great learning tools. Board games or card games such as word bingo or memory and rhyming cards can be a fun way to learn about words, letter sounds, and reading. They can help children realise how much fun learning can be. You can even create your own by cutting out pictures, writing words on cards and getting you child to match them.

5. Computers are reader friendly too! Though many worry that children may spend too much time on the computer, there are some great games that help them learn to read and allow them to create their own stories. Find some child-friendly websites that have games you can play along with your child.

6. Books make great gifts. Ask family and friends to give a book instead of a toy as a gift. Make sure to tell them about your child's reading level and interests. To build up a home library find almost-new books at garage sales.

7. Subscribe to a magazine. There's no substitute for the excitement of receiving mail. Let your kids subscribe to their favourite age-appropriate magazine and watch their eyes light up with the arrival of each new issue.

8. Be a reading role model. When your children see you reading, they will want to imitate you. It won't be long until they learn that reading is fun, interesting, and a "grown up" thing to do.

9. Keep books, magazines and newspapers handy. Keep a box in the kitchen or living room for easy access.