How to make potty training a success at home and at school

Potty training is a major milestone - and a trying period - not only in the life of children, but also in the life of parents. With that in mind, using a similar routine both at home and at school can ease the difficulties associated with the process of teaching your child to use the toilet faster.
Potty training comes into play at a time when a child is showing signs of increased independence. Toilet training is much easier when children are aged two and upwards. Proper toilet training is virtually impossible for a child under 18 months because the sphincters (muscle outlets) of the bladder and bowel aren't yet under their control. By that age, they may already attend an educational program. So enquiring how your child's nursery handles potty training is always a good idea. Discuss the potty training policy with the teachers and make sure it is in sync with your own potty training methods at home.

Why is that critical for the well-being of your child?

The answer to this question is very simple. A different way of handling potty training in school or at home can confuse you child, causing distress and creating home vs. school potty training conflicts. It sometimes happens that parents and professionals disagree about the timing or practices of potty training. Communication is the key here. Rest assured - most teachers and nurseries would love to help your children master potty training. Always make sure you listen to their opinions, as they stem from a rich educational experience.

After learning about your child’s school potty training routine and method, and agreeing on it, the next thing to do is to try and replicate it at home for greater success. By making it as similar as possible to the routine at school, you are in fact eliminating the possibility of confusing your child as he learns potty training in two different environments. A basic example would be that, if the school teaches him to use the potty / toilet every half an hour, you should do the same at home. Using the same equipment (toilet seat insert instead of a child-sized potty chair, underwear) also dispels any possible fear and reassures the child.
Success in potty training rests on school and home working together to benefit the children. Obviously, parents are the ones knowing their child best, so their input is fundamental. They are the first to determine whether he or she is ready or not for potty training. Signs of readiness include understanding "potty vocabulary", showing an interest in the potty, being able to take his or her pants on and off, wanting to wear underwear, wanting soiled nappies changed immediately, staying dry for at least two hours at a time, verbalising the need to use the potty etc.
Bear in mind that potty training efforts at home and at school are only effective if your child is ready, if he / she can follow your or the teacher's basic instructions, shows an interest in using the toilet, and can sit on the potty by himself / herself. Rushing children into potty training is never a good idea, so make sure you and your child's school teachers agree on the path to be followed, especially if school is a new experience, as children are sometimes reluctant to learn under stressful conditions. Potty training should come naturally, in a relaxed and safe environment, be it at home or at school.
Last but not least, encourage your child to keep up potty training, while reminding him that in the process, accidents are normal. Never should he be punished at home or at school for having an accident. What makes potty training in school extremely helpful is that it comes with the added element of peer influence, which can result in your children being more willing to engage in potty training and imitate their school friends.
In conclusion, potty training sounds a lot easier than it actually is - which is why home and school working together to smooth the process is your best bet. It requires plenty of patience, and persistence. School should take into consideration the fact that all children are unique, and develop at their own pace. Successful potty training, therefore, starts when your child is developmentally prepared, and involves a routine that is replicated at home and in school.

Q&A:

How do I banish toilet fears?
A small child can be frightened by the big toilet that makes roaring sounds when it flushes. If that is the case and age doesn't permit, don't force him to sit on it, and use a potty chair instead, encouraging him to try it. Familiarise the child by taking him with you to the bathroom when emptying the potty chair. Introduce your toddler to the potty in a casual way, letting him or them play with it and role play with teddies or dolls. It might be worth starting with a potty in the bathroom, and encouraging them to sit on it before a bath. This is a low-pressure introduction. If he/she's not interested, you and the potty should back off. Read some books on potty training with your toddler and discuss what's involved in potty training in simple terms.

Can I use rewards?
It depends. Check the school's policy on the matter, and if the answer is yes, consider using motivators such as stickers for every successful trip to the potty. Make sure you don't overdo rewarding though, as the motivation to use the potty must come from within. An even better path would be praising the child for what he has achieved. Never punish him for accidents or misses, and always maintain a sense of humour and a positive attitude. That goes for your child's teachers as well.

When do children start to wipe themselves?
Again, it depends, as every child is different. Some are more independent, and start wiping themselves from the get-go. Others will require your help for wiping, so be patient. Always have a roll of toilet paper within reach. Hand it to them, tell them to wipe and check if it is clean, and if not, to get a new piece and wipe again. Teach them to flush (if it's the case), and wash hands every time.

Getting your toddler dry through the night
Don't rush trying to get your toddler dry through the night. Wait before you dispense with night-time nappies until daytime dryness has been comfortably achieved and she has had some (or all) nights in which the nappy is dry in the morning. If your child isn't dry at night it's probably because their nervous system isn't mature enough to trigger a signal that their bladder is full and needs emptying.
Discuss with your child the issue of leaving nappies off at night and put a plastic sheet under the sheets. Be relaxed - reassure your child it doesn't matter if they wet the bed and that you can wash the sheets and change their pyjamas. Let them know they're bound to get the hang of it soon.